just happened. Warning - graphical and disturbing. Not like this blog at all. In fact, you probably want to skip this and come back another day when I've posted more Owen shots.
Lisa found an almost-dead squirrel in the backyard this morning. It's back was broken, the back legs covered in some fluid and not functioning, with lots of flies buzzing around. However, it was breathing, blinking, and when I approached it, it dragged itself off a few feet with it's front paws.
Of course, if some gigantic lunatic with gloves and a shovel approached me, I'd damn well scrabble out the way as well.
This squirrel was way beyond healing. If we'd done nothing, I doubt it would have survived the day. The neighbours cat was stalking around, and he'd probably have finished it off if I hadn't. I took careful aim with the edge of my shovel, and tried to make the end as short and painless as I could. Even so, a little squeak accompanied the little guy as I dispatched him.
I don't know why, but this was extraordinarily hard for me. It probably took me 3-4 minutes to actually work up the nerve to do it. I apologized to the squirrel over and over again - even after he was dead and I shoveled him gently into the garbage can.
I know I'm a big softie at heart. While I've got no issue killing spiders or other insects, this one bothered me. Maybe it was his black eyes looking up at me knowing what was coming. Maybe it was his breathing that was so rapid as he tried to crawl away, but then eased as he realized he couldn't. Whatever it was, it was damn hard to do, and it's bothered me.
I made Lisa go into the house before I did it. She was only too glad to go. I'm relieved that Owen was on a walk with his nanny and didn't know anything about it. In a way, I'm glad I did it - I do think I eased that guy's pain, even if I shortened his life by hours or days. My eyes have misted up a little bit just thinking about this. Is it because I'm a dad now - and that little squirrel was someone's baby once? Maybe. I think I need to go take my mind off of it.
Sometimes, you gotta do the difficult thing. Sucks, but it's true. I wonder if people who have to do this sort of thing for a living ever get used to it? Anyway, I'll post some happy shots of Owen to make up for this complete downer of a post.
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8 comments:
You're a good man. It would have been easier to just let the cat get him but far crueler. Sometimes doing the right thing just plain sucks.
{{Higgy}}
You definitely did the kind thing. Poor little squirrel. Sometimes nature is harsh.
{{Higgy}}
This reminds me of some National Geographic show from years ago. An Amazonian rain forest native (or re-enactor - who cares?) chased an animal with a spear so he could feed his tribe. Before he killed the animal he apologized to it. He explained that his tribe needed food and that he was sorry but this was the way of nature.
Higgy, we totally appreciate your humanitarianism. :-)
Now bring on more Owen-y Goodness!
Higgy, doing right takes strength and sometimes it hurts. Some people aren't strong enough enough to do what is best. But you put another being's needs over your own.
Even if it was "just" a squirrel, it would have been inhumane to let the creature suffer. You did the responsible thing, and you spared that little squirrel pain and fear.
But I don't imagine knowing all that makes it any easier. I'm sorry you had to go through this. {{Higgy}}
{{{Higgy}}} You did the best thing for the squirrel. Hardest for you, yes...but the best thing isn't always easy.
How awful, Higgy! It would have been so easy to just let the cat have it and walk away. But you did the courageous thing and helped the poor little squirrel out of its pain.
Being a father no doubt makes you more sensitive to things like this. But that's a good thing (go away, Martha Stewart!).
You are very brave. I couldn't have done it.
I hate it when our cats kill or maim squirrels (including two gorgeous flying squirrels) and chipmunks. And I hate it when they bring their prey to the door to be praised. The damn cats have plenty of food, but due to them, we don't have squirrels or chipmunks or (thank God for this one!) many mice around.
So far the hummingbirds have outsmarted them.
Higgy, you definitely did the right thing.
By coincidence I was reading a book yesterday where some idiot causes a horse to fall & break its leg and they had to shoot it. Sometimes you just have to do the hard thing.
Everyone said what I was going to say, so I'll just give you a big *hug*.
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