Construction myths.

The following are all myths that we've uncovered in our recent construction ... "episode"... In order to best read these, put a loud "NOT!" at the end of each one...

1. The salesman is NOT on crack and the completion dates he promises will totally be delivered.
2. The construction foreman talks to the salesman on an hourly basis and is utterly up-to-speed on what we want/need.
3. The salesman - who promises several times throughout the process that "he will be there for you" - will NOT turn into vapor the second after the deal is signed.
4. Since you were promised that there would be no sub-contractors assigned to this deal, no subcontractors will show up to do the work.
5. The cleanup done at the end of the day will prevent your 20 month old son from finding all sorts of sharp stabbity things in the yard EVEN 30 yards away from the freaking construction site!
6. The drywall guy that shows up will not look like the guy from ZZ Top IF he'd been strung out on drugs and hadn't slept since 1982.
7. All of the electrical wires that are put in will work perfectly and the GFI outlet will NOT emit a large fireball when the test button is pushed.
8. The homeowner will NOT crap his pants when a large fireball is emitted from a GFI outlet.
9. All ceiling fans have a low-profile installation option. Otherwise, a 6'3" homeowner might brain himself walking through the room. Learned this one the hard way.
10. Since you tell the construction that the drop dead date is 8/22/07 at 10:29am, they will get all their work done well ahead of schedule and NOT be working until 10:28am on the 22nd.

Can you guess that this has been a barrel of monkeys so far?